NO CAR CREDIT

AAARGH! As a sequel to my previous rant about cheap tele-marketing this week I had the worst call ever. After the telephone rung numerous times and was cut off not long after answering I finally got a clear call. Well I call it a clear call as the line stayed open, however it had more hiss than a bag full of very pissed of snake. Through the static an individual who could barely speak English and had the heaviest Indian Subcontinent accent then asked me if I wanted to buy a car. FUCK OFF! If I want to buy a car I will go to a car dealership not some call center shyster from half way around the world, over a phone line that is worse than two tin cars and a piece of string. The company they claim to call from is YES CAR CREDIT. Here is a free piece of advice to any marketing executives who are reading this: -

• Unsolicited phone calls are more fucking annoying than trapping you dick in your zipper.
• If, for some indeterminably inane reason, you are going to try to generate business this way for fucks sake get a fucking decent phone line and staff you call center with people who can actually speak the sodding language. I suggest the first phrases you get them to learn is "I'm not interested".
• People will not change there mind if you call them more.
• If I say "No" then I mean NO not harass the fucking life out of me for the next month until I have to threaten your staff with legal action. Get the fucking hint once and for all you irritating, sodding morons.

And relax. To help calm down and disperse my venom I have been playing the following: -

http://www.yetisports.org/englisch/playonline.html#

What's your high score - no prizes, just glory. My personal best for Game 5 (Golf) is 3973.

Where has all the anger gone?

This week Mr Grumpy is not actually as grumpy as normal, some good weather and plenty of cooling drinks have meant that I have mellowed a little this week. I did briefly feel my dander rising when I read the story about a 16 year old boy blaming a computer game after he had killed a 14 year old. http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3936237.stm.
These games have an age rating for a reason. This increasing vitriol was offset by a couple of much more amusing website that had me sniggering like an idiot for hours.
http://www.preparingforemergencies.co.uk/ and the almost as funny http://www.thomasscott.net/us-visit/
Along the same lines I wondered if there was a parody of the US visa waiver declarations, although perhaps not as they are stupid questions anyway. If anyone knows of one please let me know, if you don't know of one and want to make one then great. Got to go now - time to prepare for Zombie attack. Now, where did I put that cricket bat?

Sad Geeks

AAARRGH! The grumpy pc has been got by an evil little virus, despite an approach to security being somewhere between manic obsessive and total raving paranoia I was still got. Who are these social underdeveloped tossers and why do they think they can piss about with my serenity. These geeks are not "crusaders" against Microsoft or any other giant multi national, they are not performing a public service - they are self important, supercilious arseholes. Why do they have time to write these virus (what is the plural of virus - answers on a postcard.) If you ask me they spend all their time locked up in a little room feeling smug when they should be out getting drunk and getting laid.

Cheap B*stards

As if normal telesales phone calls are not bad enough, with almost incomprehensible sales people from half way around the world trying to sell the undesirable, now these affronts to privacy are trying to cut costs. Over the past few weeks I have received several phone calls that, when answered instantly hang up. Using the rather useful BT feature of 1471 to find the last number these calls originate from 0845 (local call rate) numbers.
Being the inquisitive fool that I am I recalled one of these numbers to be confronted by some foreign voice trying to sell me double glazing. Do these companies really think that I would even consider buying their product on the basis of this; even if I wanted what they were selling in the first place.

Almighty Greed

With my own nuptials looming, I was drawn to the following story:-

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/north_yorkshire/3842247.stm

Having experienced the greed of everybody you come into contact with when you utter the magic word "wedding", you would think that of all the shysters trying to bleed us dry at least the church would be reasonable in that respect. Not so. As well as labouring the point about attending the church before we could even get married there, we get ripped of at every step of the way by the church.
As if that isn't bad enough, as a guest to somebody's wedding, being told that the church will only accept notes is about the lowest of the low. Don't get me wrong; I fully support freedom of religion and if somebody wishes to give 5% of their after tax salary to their chosen faith then it's their money and their choice. What I object to is the fact that a religion whose teachings include numerous stories of charity and endless proverbs against greed, would make such a demand. This sounds like TV evangelism done UK style. Well, Bollock to that, at my wedding I shall be suggesting that guests do not have to give to the mercenary church. I have paid them more than enough money already and I don't see that my guests should have to fork out as well.
Hallelujah? More like "we'll screw ya" (Sorry for the bad pun.)

Driving and Driving Bans

This the first of many rants from good old Blighty, that’s England to all you foreigners. So what triggered this first outburst? Well I was sitting at home one night watching one of those low cost TV programmes where they use Police footage of morons doing stupid things in cars and on motorbikes. I know this is low-brow but it was the best thing on at the time.

Well after watching this programme for some several minutes seeing driving from the planet fuckwit something started to occur to me. Time after time these people are caught by the law enforcement authorities and the narrator proudly announces that the perpetrators have been banned from driving for some years.

WHY??? These people have already shown that they don't give a shit about the motoring laws. Do the simpletons who award these punishments really think that somebody who will do 100mph against traffic in a stolen car will really stop driving because they have had a piece of paper taken away from them. These criminals must be pissing themselves with laughter when they leave the court room. Crime and Punishment. Crime and pointless waste of time more like.